Sometime in the last couple of years, I lost the me that enjoyed working out–the girl who walked into the gym with every intention to hit it and hit it hard. In grad school, the gym became the thing I made a priority most of the time and really only out of obedience to care for my body over any joy it actually brought. Instead of hitting it hard, I went to get away with the least effort possible. I did the work, but I didn’t go in to kill it. We’re pretty legit Paleo the vast majority of the time, so while I’ve definitely lost some muscle mass, I haven’t gained back any weight since the initial switch over three years ago. While I’m sad that my shoulders slump a bit because of lack of pull-ups and that my thighs are smaller because I’m not squatting every week, the physical benefits have not been enough to motivate me. But it’s time to turn the corner.
I’m attempting to rediscover that girl I lost awhile ago. Husband worked the budget to allow me to join a Crossfit gym for the first time. Yesterday was my first Elements class. This is a series of 8 classes where you learn the basic moves with little to no weight so you don’t hurt yourself with weight. Each class ends with a traditional workout of the day (WOD). There were only three of us. I was the smallest, weakest, and slowest, but that’s ok. That’s why I’m there.
2 rounds for time of
200 m run
20 kettle bell swings
As I was finishing up my last 10 burpees yesterday, the other gal in class said “this is way easier than your PhD” to encourage me. She’s right. That workout took less than 8 minutes, but, man, in that 8 minutes sitting in front of my computer sounded a heck of a lot easier. But that was Day 1, and I went in with a headache and getting over the flu. This is the beginning. It will get better.
Right now, I will go because I said I would and because we paid money for it. That time is good for my physically and mentally. That hour is a time for me to think about something else. I can get my head out of work for a bit and focus on a different kind of pain. I will soon no longer be getting over sick, and the endorphins of working out will make it feel better afterward. Hopefully I’ll find that girl again and enjoy her company for a while before I get pregnant and have to bench myself for a space of time to grow a little person.
I’m hoping this renewed discipline will help me re-establish discipline in daily Bible reading and prayer as well. Discipline is typically one big ball of wax for me. As soon as the gym drops, my morning quiet time quickly goes thereafter. I pray often throughout the day, but that’s just not the same as setting aside some time to just sit and be with God. That girl who hits it at the gym also spends considerable time on her knees before the Father. That’s who I want to be–the better version of me.
All of this to say I’m not down on myself or anything. Sacrifices had to be made. This was a long and difficult year in school. While not all the choices I made were the best ones, some of them were. There were many weeks this year when I honestly did not have an extra three hours a week to be in the gym, but it will officially be summer in a few short hours. I still have lots of work to do this summer, but work will no longer require me to be up working at 4:00 and finishing up at 7 at night. I’m aiming to be a more normal person with more like 40-50 hours of work a week for at least a couple of months. I’m looking for a bit more balance as I became a little unbalanced this year.
Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified. –1 Corinthians 9:27