Our road to Boulder is a long one. Husband decided somewhere around seven years ago that he wanted to move to Colorado. This want grew more and more until he wanted this desperately. Eventually, we wanted this desperately. We thought about it a lot, but there was just no way to make it happen. There was anger, fear, sadness, and frustration at being “stuck” here. There came a point where we gave up the dream of moving to Colorado. We decided it just must not be what God wanted for us. Maybe we’d get to retire there, maybe not. Instead, we dug deep and prepared to live in southern California for a really long time. This was not easy. It was definitely a growing process. It was not what we wanted.
If we had our way, we would have moved to Colorado years ago. If we had our way, we would be moving to Colorado on our own terms. I would be teaching and husband would likely be doing some sort of staff accounting. If we had our way, we would have moved to Springs and essentially replanted the life we have now in another state. God didn’t want these things for us. They weren’t His plan. He wanted so much more. If we had our way, we probably never would have discovered our passion for serving together in fitness ministry. If we had our way, I would not have had the amazing experience of serving overseas with some of closest friends I believe I’ll ever make. If we had our way, the blessing of the most wonderful friendship I’ve ever had in the Lord would never have happened. If we had our way, we would not have the incredible community we developed at our church. If we had our way, I would not have been blessed with the amazing professional growth experiences I’ve had at my current school. If we had our way, husband may have stayed content with his previous job and never pushed himself to take the CPA. Though we felt we had “good” desires, our desires were not His desires. We were too focused on us and what we wanted to understand what God wanted.
I do believe that God is giving me the desires of my heart in this move, but I also believe that I didn’t understand what the desire of my heart was until a few months ago.
We’ve been striving to be faithful to who God wants us to be–not because we were trying to earn our way to Colorado, but because we believed that serving the Lord faithfully was what was best for us and the obedience that God requires. We slowly moved from making decisions because we thought they would get us to Colorado and instead began acting out of obedience to the here and now and asked God to mold us into the people He wanted us to be regardless of our current situation. We’re not always successful, but we’ve definitely grown together in the Lord.
God is almost done with us in California–for now at least. I don’t know what God has for us after grad school, but I know moving to Colorado is our next step of obedience. This is my desire because God gave me a desire for the people, place, life, and experience that lies ahead in Colorado. I am excited to see what He has for us in a new place, but regardless of that place, I know He cares more about who we are as people.