Am currently reading this book that I got on my Kindle for free. It examines the experiences of people who are “childfree” by happenstance (life just didn’t go that way), by choice (conscious decision not to have kids), and by circumstance (biologically unable). While the book is not written very well, it brings up some interesting points.
First of all, here’s the given list of “Negative Reasons People Have Children”:
- Babylust [essentially extreme biological clock]
- Pressure from Media, Family, and Friends
- Fear of missing out
- Proving parenting skills
- Avoiding being mislabeled or misunderstood
- Idealization of child rearing
I’m not sure whether I agree that some of these are necessarily bad or good reasons to have children, however, they do bring up a question for me. What is this whole biological clock thing? What does it feel like? What do you think? After reading, I’m thinking maybe I’m one of those people who just don’t feel it. I’ve known ladies I’d describe as having “baby lust.” They’re super crazy about conceiving and can’t wait to have a baby. I’ve definitely never felt like this. On occasion I see a cute little boy and have the tiniest thought that he’s cute and it would be fun to have one of my own. The fact that this is so minute in me makes me think I just don’t have that whole biological clock thing…or at least mine hasn’t gone off yet? The whole analogy is a little weird to me. What was your experience? Can you describe it for me?
We’ve very much been childfree by choice. Up until recently, the idea of having a child completely appalled both me and husband. Currently we’re not as bothered by the idea of having a child, and I’d call us more like childfree by happenstance. There are definitely no children in grad school (unless God decides otherwise). After grad school we’ll see where we’re at, have some serious discussions, and see if we’re going to be chilfree by choice, childfree by happenstance, or something else. In the meantime, I’m going to spend some more time talking to friends who have kids and others who are definitely childfree by choice.
So for now: biological clock–fact or fiction? what was your experience?